you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
