What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I've blown a few things in my day
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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