I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
