i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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