Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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