So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
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Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
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It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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