hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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