i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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