why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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