I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
