At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize