Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
