you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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