somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
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Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
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Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
please don't ironically join a cult
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