For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
