The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
