ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
