she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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