I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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