You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
