Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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