Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
