I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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