dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
