but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
nutella sex= disaster
birth control should be required to get into college
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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