this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Drunk is not a location!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
