her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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