We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
