I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
