is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You are the jesus of drinking
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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