He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
