You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
