y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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