i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
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theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
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We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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