Sponge bath it is.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
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Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
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we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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