They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
