I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
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If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
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BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.