Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.