On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness