My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT