yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this