allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
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Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
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Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...