:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury