Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina