We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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