I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize