dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
