I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
