Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize