Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
