I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
