My Higher Power is John Stamos
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
