two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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