I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
