u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Randomize
