lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
