make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
