i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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