im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
