I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
