i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
