I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
