Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
