What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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