Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
