so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
