p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize