they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
