just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm going to jail i love you
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize