Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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