You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
